$*@!ing Social Media

So, the plan was always writing. Since I was thirteen it’s what I thought I would do if I got to do what I wanted.

But writing is a different thing from getting published. There are many steps to take, people to reach out to, and criticisms to accept. Even if you’re the shyest introvert, you have to put yourself out there. It’s hard when the petulant child in you pouts that you ought to just do the writing and then someone else needs to take care of the rest. But it simply does not work that way. And the road isn’t clear either. You have to figure it out for yourself, and make mistakes along the way.

In fact, life trips over itself to tangle you up en route to that aspirational purpose. But you buck up, do what needs doing, and learn how to navigate each hurdle. I’ve approached them by being methodical, and breaking it into smaller problems to solve in isolation. Doing this necessarily teaches you new skills and equips you better for what comes next. It matures you as a professional. But now, I’m looking at the next hurdle, and I’m finding it hard to motivate myself to engage with it. Not because it’s hard work, which it is. But because it doesn’t feel right.

I’m talking about social media.

I’ve been looking up how people run their #booktok and #bookstagram, to see what type of content they put out. And what I see there is just… not for me. It’s self-promotion by using books as proxies for your own brand. It’s bragging about how much your read. It’s glorified begging for whatever metrics the algorithm favours. It’s performative enjoyment for the sake of being ‘enough’ of a book lover to be a notable figure in the space. It’s farming engagement by trading follows for follows. It’s damaging books so that you can talk about how frustrating it is when your books are damaged, and… I hate it.

I don’t wanna be an influencer, or an Instagram personality. I just want to write.

But I used to feel the same way about marketing and organising book sales. So maybe it’s just about finding the right angle for this.

And don’t get me wrong. I think we live in an attention economy where certain type of content is popular because it’s effective. The people who become successful by buying into the machine might feel the same way as I do, but they’re willing to do what it takes to make it work, and make it work for them. At least I like to think that that’s the case.

I love the idea of a community that shares in the enjoyment of reading. But I’d hate to think that it gatekeeps itself, or that it determines your worth as a reader because of what or how much you read. I don’t have the biggest library of physical books, most of mine are on my Kindle, because it’s convenient to carry around, and I can read it while my boy’s falling asleep. That should not matter.

So I don’t think I’ll do my social media that way. I’m still figuring out what I want it to look like. Maybe there’s a way that’s better for me, even if it isn’t as numerically effective as what I see in my feed.

Good day to you all.